This post is going to be very personal for me. It starts in my past but includes some very recent experiences and I felt that I wanted to share it with all of you. Growing up my Nana was the most important person in my life. Her and my papa raised me while my parents worked. In February of 2007 she died. Now at this point I had already stopped going to church but I still believed, if that makes any sense, but when she died in blamed God for taking her from me. I was so mad and hurt by him that I turned away from religion all together and hardened my heart to God. I thought I would never need religion again, I was happy with out it. Then a little over 18 months ago that opinion changed. The first conversation I ever had about religion with a missionary was the plan of salvation. After I heard this and had some things happen shortly there after I was hooked. Now this is where kit gets hard for me to write. Two weeks ago my mom passed away. I didn't get the chance to say goodbye and I have so many regrets and things I wish I could change. However, this situation was different. Instead of turning away from God like I did with Nana I relied on him more heavily to bear my burden. I realized yesterday during church that going through this trial has strengthened my testimony. Because of the plan of salvation I know that she's not permanently gone, that someday I wil, get to see her again. I know that she isn't suffering now. I know she is well and happy. She is learning the gospel and a year from now I will be able to take her name to the temple and do her work. Then as long as I am good and work hard I will be able to see her and my grandparents and my family again and spend forever with them. Relying on heavenly father and my savior made this trial easier for me. Does it still hurt? Yes, but not as much as it would if I didn't have my knowledge of the gospel. I am so great full for my savior, the gospel, and the missionaries who have taught me about God's great plan for us. I testify to each of you that when we lose someone they are never truly gone. Families are forever and as long as you live up to your covenants you will see them again. Do we all still have burdens to bear, yes. But heavenly father will lighten the and help you overcome. He is my strength and my light.
