Have any of you ever felt like your testimony is lacking or like you aren't sure God is even listening to you? Me too. It's hard when you don't feel spiritually strong enough to withstand the trials that are given to you, or when you feel like you're alone and struggling. For me, right now I feel weighed down. As some of you are aware I struggle with bipolar which causes me to go through moments of extreme happiness and energy to moments of extreme sadness and lethargy. This has been an ongoing battle for me for quite some time. However, if it wasn't bad enough I also suffer from extreme anxiety and get severe panic attacks. When everyday trials are added onto this it makes me feel worthless because I don't feel like a lot of the times Heavenly father is answering me. I feel alone and lost in the dark. My faith doesn't seem like it's strong enough to get me through the trials I face but over the last three years since my baptism I've learned something; even the smallest amount of faith makes a difference.
Everyone's faith will occasionally falter or fall short of where they want it to be but that doesn't mean to give up. Acting on even an ounce of faith allows God to guide us and strengthen us. Even though I feel weighed down and heavy I know that the tiniest amount of faith will bless me. We are not meant to be perfect, we are allowed to doubt, to make mistakes, and to feel unfaithful. however, none of that means that we can make it through this life on our own. Faith is the rock that life should be built upon.
So if your faith ever falters or you doubt what you believe, IT'S OK! but that doesn't mean it's ok to give up. Turn to God when you feel this way. Ask him for his help and for the knowledge and strength you need. I can almost guarantee that if you do this with a true heart he will hear you and he will bless you. We are hear to learn and that includes learning how to have faith.
Growing up, I never thought of myself as someone who needed faith. I could face the world all by myself. I learned the hard way after 20 years of sorrow, hardship, and heartache that I couldn't do it on my own. Once I turned to God, and showed an ounce of faith in him, he showed me how beautiful life truly is. Now does that mean I've never doubted him since? No, it doesn't because I have had my fair share of doubts but not once have I let those doubts drag me away from what I know to be true.
I am a daughter of God and he loves me. My soul is of great worth and no matter how far I think I've gone down the wrong path I have never gone to far to be beyond his reach. To access the blessings of the atonement and of eternity all I have to do is show an ounce of faith and God will magnify my efforts into something I didn't even know was possible.
