Trials and Triumph

        In the LDS faith we hear a lot about trials, but what are trials? a trial is defined as a test of a person or object. So effectively we are taught that god sends us here to test us. Everyone is tested in different ways. some people go through trials that are much harder than the trials that others face but that does not mean that others do not have trials of their own. Recently I have been going through quite a few trials, one on top of the other. It seems like it will never end. Then today I hit my breaking point... I questioned Gods love for me. I went twenty years of my life without God and struggled just as much as I am now, so whats the point in believing in someone who doesn't want to help me? I felt as if my prayers were going unanswered and that I just couldn't fight anymore. Then my husband sent me a picture that reminded me why I believe.

I have done some very stupid things in my life but yet I was somehow still found worthy to be baptized and after baptism I still struggle with some of my old bad habits, but has Heavenly Father given up on me? NO! and I do not believe he will. There are times we may not feel he is there or that he is listening but he always knows us and our struggles. I know that sometimes I will have to walk in the dark toward him, trusting that he will not let me fall too far. Having faith in God is more than just trusting him it's also trusting in his timing. This is such a hard concept for me because I am not a patient person. I have never enjoyed waiting, I'm the type of person who wants everything to happen right now, but my faith has resigned me to trust in the Lords timing. 

        For the background on one of my major trials recently is that I injured my back at work in June and have had troubles with it ever since but no one seems to believe me that it actually hurts. I've had people treat me like I'm a liar and talk about me behind my back. They've treated me like I don't have feelings at all. I in turn went to Heavenly Father for help but I could not feel him, and felt like my prayers were going unanswered. I cried out loud, screaming for him to help me. Hadn't I already been through enough in my life? What more do you possibly have to teach me? Why have you abandoned me? I have no fight left in me, what more do you want! However, yelling at God didn't help anyone. It was only after I was quiet and listened that I got my answer. 

     He hadn't abandoned me. I simply hadn't been listening. How often do we not listen if it's not what we want to hear? I know I've pushed off a prompting from the Lord before because it didn't fit in "my" schedule. what many of us fail to realize though is that we aren't here on our schedule, we're here on the Lords. We were sent to earth to learn so that we could return to him but how are we supposed to learn when we won't listen to the teacher? The simple answer to this is you will struggle and barely pass or you will fail miserably. So why not just listen to our teacher and trust him in all that we do. 

    Don't ever give up on God because he will not give up on you. No matter how far out of reach you are, you are never to far for him to help. I testify that Heavenly Father truly does hear and answer every child's prayer, we just have to be willing to listen and obey.